“Nietzsche had Nihilism. Epicurus had Hedonism. Descartes had Determinism. Robot Boob has Cat Existentialism. There’s also Marxism and Postmodernism but we’re not going to touch those.” Robot Boob
What if we’re all cats?
This is a question that has bugged me for a very long time. What if we’re all cats? If we were, would we ever know? If we’re not, would we ever know? It’s easy to look down and see one’s self and say “I’m definitely not a cat.” Yes, this is true but we live in a world full of possibilities and unanswered queries. Did George Bush cause 911? Did Barrack Obama create Covid? Was Waco a false flag operation? Did we really land on the moon? Is Osama Bin Laden actually dead? Is Alex Jones really a CIA operative feeding everyone false information? Who really killed John F. Kennedy? Why did Malcom X change his name? What is a woman? What’s the difference between Diet Pepsi and Pepsi Zero? What if we’re all cats?
Sometimes I lay in bed at night and I can’t sleep. I lay there and ponder all these questions. I usually have an answer for most of them except that one that truly bugs me; What if we’re all cats? I realize how silly this sounds. I do. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I can’t be serious. What if I was?
When you think about it, like really really think about it, is today really Friday? And if so, how can we all be for sure as a concrete definitive? Maybe today is really Wednesday, not physically, but in our mind’s eye. Maybe it’s Thursday. Maybe it’s like a day that we’ve never even knew existed. Maybe it’s not even a day. Maybe it’s a completely different frame of time. Could it be possible that we are all actually highly imaginative cats that have superseded their own existence and created what we know as life? And days like Friday are just a big joke to fool us into (consciously) forgetting that we are actually cats? Whoa. I admit, I’ve never even thought about this until now.
Why are we so fascinated with cats and cat videos? Are we, as controlled by cats, becoming so self aware that we are recognizing something within ourselves when we exclaim, uncontrollably, over cats? Can we (unconsciously) feel that something is wrong and so obvious and yet, so unaware in terms of (conscious) thought? I think so. Think about it. Cats sleep and nap an ungodly amount of time, right? And we always complain about not getting enough sleep. So maybe, just maybe, when a cat is sleeping, they’re actually playing puppet master with our existence.
“We cats have been allies to humankind for a very long time, and while you have reserved the sobriquet ‘man’s best friend’ for the dog, I may now provide you reasons to judge differently.” Paul Koudounaris
Look at Egypt. One of the most technologically advanced civilizations ever. They worshipped cats. You ever wonder why? One of the most mysterious unsolved mysteries ever is The Great Sphinx. That large human head on the body of a cat statue laying in front of the Giza Pyramids. The Sphinx might be trying to tell us that we’re all cats. I mean, look at it. It’s a huge cat with the head of a human. Don’t you think that maybe the Egyptians were trying to say that we may think we’re humans (which is why the head is human) but we’re actually cats? That would totally explain why the body is that of a cat. This just further vindicates my theory. Think about it.
Then there’s Schrödinger’s Cat. A powerful thought experiment that illustrates a paradox of quantum superposition, that just happens to involve a cat. That doesn’t strike anyone else as extremely odd? In the thought experiment, a hypothetical cat may be considered simultaneously both alive and dead, while it is unobserved in a closed box, as a result of its fate being linked to a random subatomic event that may or may not occur. See it now? Does it make sense to you yet? We are all cats trapped inside boxes that may or may not exist. Living lives as human that may or may not actually be cats.
Call me crazy now but when the test of time passes and I become a master of my reality, you may still be watching endless cat videos. Don’t say I didn’t try to tell you.